Friday 12 July 2013

Project Koi: Beverly

Another project update, this time, with regards to my attempts at online dating. Believe it or not, I managed to talk to a woman who was interested in going on a few dates with me. She was fairly cute, slightly quirky, and very shy. Her name was Beverly and online she seemed ok and so I agreed to meet with her in person.

I know some of you are tensing up in anticipation. Did Damian accidentally date a crazy cat woman? Is Damian typing his last blog post from a dumpster? Is Damian now homosexual after one too many bad dates?

No, unfortunately Beverly wasn't nearly as exciting as that. She was a bit disappointing really.

I can hear your collective sighs from your computers already.

See, Beverly was a nice guy girl (nice catch Fang). But excessively shy and indecisive. She was so strong willed and much more vivid online in her messages and conversations. But in person? She withdrew. Quiet, difficult to engage in a conversation, and was ok with everything.

At least, I think she was. I really couldn't tell you. I made so many of the decisions of what to do, and where to go, and she just kind of went with it. And it was a bit difficult to again, have a conversation with her in person because so many of her responses were "I don't know" or "I guess".

I won't lie, I have a thing for shy, demure girls. But this, this is a bit too extreme for me.

I also have a thing for pale girls with red (not ginger) hair. Shhh....

So, I don't know what to do with her. On another date we ended up sitting in a field, with grass, trees, blah blah blah, I'm trying to talk with her. She's being her usual, quiet, mumbly self. It was here I decided to push it a bit. I gently grab her head, and kiss her on the cheek.

Younger Damian wouldn't have been as ballsy, I can tell you that for certain.

She get very flustered, blushes red, this is getting very cliched, very quickly. I'm not sure what to do beyond this, I think I asked her what was on her mind, to which she responded "I don't know". Eventually I managed to get out of her that she liked it. Well, at least, she wasn't going to call the police.

And I didn't get slapped either, so double points for me.

For anyone curious, I managed to properly kiss her later that day as well. It was, awkward. She claims she had a boyfriend before but I wouldn't have been able to tell based on her kissing skills. It was like she was a goldfish.

Also, her head kept tilting up. Did she want me to bite her neck or something? Sorry, I'm not into that sort of thing.

I think she was interested in pursuing a relationship with me. That was made clear during a drunken Skype conversation. Unfortunately, after a few dates, I don't think I'm not interested in her. She's a nice girl, I will not deny that. But her personality is just, very offputting. I like people who can tell me what's on their mind and tell me what they want.

Maybe I should lower my standards a bit though, least I be single forever.

In the meantime, it's back to the dating websites. Another woman just messaged something along the lines of "Lol, u r cute". Anyone wondering why I'm cautious about this should read my previous online mishap with Cheryl.

I wasn't aware that it was a common thing for Caucasian women to have yellow fever.

31 comments:

  1. "See, Beverly was a nice guy."
    Can you please not do that? You confused me for a second. ;D

    But eh, man, don't worry about it. These things take time, it'll come eventually. (Not that I'm one to talk though. I've been waiting for almost 19 years now, I may need to step up my game.)

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  2. should have given her the D brah

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  3. You can't go into online dating like you're ordering from a menu - people are who they are and when you start writing out a list of the things you like, you miss a lot of interesting people. If we all did that, we'd only be willing to date models with doctoral degrees and stand-up comic senses of humor. And we'd all be alone.

    That said, the whole point of dating is to find ot if you click with someone. If you don't, you don't. Move on.

    (By the way, I am a little confused about why you'd assumed she wanted you to bite her when she tilted her head. How about something a little more benign like kissing her neck? And your friend Poster is wrong - you can't force sex on someone. That's called rape.)


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    1. Oops, may have divulged a bit too much information about her "preferences" by accident.

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  4. Oh well, least you went out there!

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  5. Hey you have some modicum of success here which should help keep you going further down the line. I know I'm a lot less candid and a lot more reserved in real person, so I can understand how she felt. Maybe you should try giving her another go and letting her get out of her comfort zone.

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  6. it doesn't sound you two have anything in common if you can't strike any conversation with her, Damien.

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  7. Keep looking, guy. It's a numbers game. You've got to meet a lot of girls before one will click.

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  8. internet dating is very trial and error

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  9. hmmm she sounds a bit like me. i can talk online but sometimes i freeze up when i have to talk in person. But i get over it pretty quickly.

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  10. You'll know when the right one comes along. No point in wasting your time on the wrong one. It just gets more complicated and someone gets hurt. I couldn't date anyone that kept saying "I don't know" and "I guess". It would drive me insane.

    I've seen your pale girl with red hair before somewhere, but i can't remember where.

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  11. Stick with it Damian, a good one will turn up.

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  12. beautiful photo
    hope next will be as you want

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  13. lol maybe if you bite her neck you'll release her thoughts.

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  14. Sounds like she has serious guy anxiety...I am guessing she has no experience whatsoever, and that the previous "boyfriend" is probably her teddy bear. Not to be mean.

    Why is it that people say "yellow fever"? I'm biracial and grew up in a place (California) where no one would think/comment/look twice at an interracial couple.

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  15. If it ain't happening, then it ain't happening. No matter how nice she is if you don't feel it then that's the end of the story.

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  16. Enjoyed reading this post about online dating ! Well, better luck next time !

    The picture of the pale girl in your dreams with red hair is very beautiful!

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  17. You'll find someone sooner or later! In my experience they tend to pop up as soon as you stop looking.

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  18. Sometimes you just don't feel it my friend. And if it's not there, it's not there. Sounds like you did put forth the effort though so you did everything you could. Dating is a marathon not a sprint :)

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  19. Ha! Yellow fever... Uh, yeah. 1) I'm proud of you for getting back out there in the dating world after the cluster-f*ck that was Cheryl. 2) I agree, if this girl has no personality then you should move on. I feel bad for her, she's clearly so painfully shy that she can't express herself, but that's not YOUR problem. You need an intelligent woman who knows her own mind and can give you a run for your money ;)

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  20. The world of online dating can be a total crapshoot, at least if you're not paying for the website. I say, go with your gut, dawg. You don't see this lady as a potential dating partner, cut your loses and move onto the next one, with a better understanding of what you're looking for. Just be nice about it, obviously. But I'm sure you already knew that.

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  21. Beverly sounds kind of nice to me. Though I can understand how it can be frustrating when someone seems so resistant to opening up their heart to you.

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  22. Ah, gotta get 'em next time. And yes, I agree. The whole alabaster complexion/auburn hair is lovely!

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  23. Good luck with the dating. I guess online personas will always differ with the real thing! Take care
    x

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  24. Hello! You know that I do not know the English very well...And I understood something ... but I do not know that I understood everything correctly or not/// I want to say in Caucasus we - men may not have the girlfriends.We can only marrige///The family is very big respektable thing for us/... to do contakt without wedding very big unrespektable thing in Caucasus///

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  25. Awww, no, sorry to hear it didn't go as well as you'd hoped - stay positive and keep at it though I'm sure you'll find someone nice soon. Also the Skyrim comment on my last post was the only comment I've gotten that's made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that! - Tasha xxx

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  26. Hey, that's not so bad. I was expecting either good, or OH SNAP SHE'S TERRIBLE. This middle ground is a good step! You also have to applaud yourself for not being so lonely you don't just go with it anyway. It's normal for a lot of guys, and if you can even tell she's not for you, it says good things about you too.

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  27. "See, Beverly was a nice guy." - for a second, I thought that she was actually a man.

    I'm a bit similar - very talkative online, but very, very shy in real life. But once I get in my comfort zone, I don't shut up. It's possible that she just never got that comfortable with you, or she genuinely doesn't have that much to talk about.

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