Thursday 18 April 2013

Project Koi: The Bachelor (Part 1)

I've been single for nearly 4 months now. It's been an uncomfortable and fairly painful road to walk on but I think I came out mostly in one piece. But I still craved the companionship of a significant other, something that I couldn't get with normal friends. But my circle of friends had diminished, most of the single people had hooked up with someone already, and now I was all alone. I needed to expand my social spheres if I wanted a chance.

And so, I decided to try my luck, at online dating.

Hey there single ladies!

I knew the chances of success would be slim, and it became more apparent the further I looked into the entire process. They did a study once where men and women were asked what they looked for in potential partners and everyone said personality and all that good stuff. But, turns out the men rated women who are younger and attractive more highly and women rated men with money and power more highly. The study has been replicated many times and while this is a generalization, I would consider this to be an important detail to remember if any of you consider online dating.

But just because you're rated lower doesn't mean you still aren't going to get interested people vying for your attention. In fact, I think as long as you're a woman you will almost always will get messages and chat requests from interested guys. As a joke, people have created online dating profiles of the most unappealing and unattractive adult women they could conceive. We're talking pictures photoshopped to have them physically unattractive, shallow and vapid personalities, STDs, if you can think of an undesirable trait, they made a profile with it.

And all of them, ALL of those profiles received requests from interested men. One person I think even took a picture of a lamp, declared the profile gender as female, and put one line of text in the description. That profile still got messaged by multiple men who were interested.


Yes, men can get bombarded with messages like this too. But you're probably going to have to make it look like you're loaded. And like Joe said, do you really want a woman who only wants you for your wallet? Well, I guess being a sugar daddy is good enough for some guys.

Now, you might think that women have the advantage here. But in reality, it may not be all that much of an advantage. You see, most guys on these online dating profiles, are perverted creeps. So now, the woman has all the fun of sorting through all of these messages.

But at least the women are generally going to have people coming to them. There are normal, nice, and friendly guys on these sites too. But these men have to try their best to tailor his message to differentiate himself from the perverted creeps. It's not easy trying to come across as friendly, in the hopes of starting a conversation without being labelled as the complete opposite.

I don't bite, I promise.

Perhaps I'm too picky as well. Is it too much to ask for women who are my age who can spell properly and use proper grammar? I don't want to start a relationship with a person who has the mentality of a 12 year old.

I hoped around multiple sites and in the end only two sites had anybody with my preferences. I messaged close to a dozen different people, and barely any of them replied. One of them didn't even qualify as a conversation if you ask me. It was getting a bit depressing really.

But that's where things get interesting. This is also where things go bad for Damian. The more observant of you will notice that this is part 1, simply because this post would get way too long otherwise. Part 2 will take a look at the people who responded to my messages.

And the girl who messaged me first.

20 comments:

  1. Ah, good old online dating. The trick is to go to the smaller, interest specific sites. If you go to places like RSVP you're fishing in an awfully big pond.

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  2. I've not had much look with the dating sites but I don't think I ever really threw myself in to it and I went in thinking I wouldn't have much luck. I actually do sometimes feel bad for the chicks on there as you're right; they get more messages, but most of them are along the lines of "tits or gtfo".

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  3. haha oh I have been there stalkers and weirdos galore. An yeah they don't know how to type and just want to drink like a teen forever, slim pickings

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  4. Waiting with bated breath for Part 2 . . . .

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  5. I can't imagine how many messages women get on those sites, when it comes to romance men always get the unlucky side of the situation unless you happened to have all aspects of your life perfect.

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  6. My niece thought that ONLINE DATING WAS VERY UNROMANTIC. Her younger brother teased" Why not place a flower vase on the computer?".

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  7. Oh boy oh boy, it's like we're reading an exciting romance novel! Except it's not really that, and knowing you will probably have the worst plot twists ever. ;D
    (The girl you messaged you first was secretly a lamp, pretending to be a girl.)

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  8. Kay I'm interested. Frankly, I'd never even start an online dating profile. I'd rather go to a local area chat if I'm looking for something online, and I've never even done that. BUT CURIOSITY IS PEAKED! Go on!

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  9. Oh this should be good part 2. I have plenty of crazy stories from online dating but have not gone there in years! The perverted creeps are vey good at passing for normal at first too.

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  10. I'm with you when it comes to the whole aspect of not wanting to date some girl who has a young mentality and who can't spell, you're not picky Damien, you just know what you want. I love the idea for this series as cruel as that sounds, I do hope that there's a happy ending to this all because you deserve someone great for you again like Theresa was and I know you'll have no problems in that aspect unlike myself. Looking forward to hearing about the horror stories if there is any though!

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  11. I will be curious! BTW, my RK and I met online.

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  12. The whole online dating thing intrigues me, probably because I have no need for it.
    I have friends who have had mixed results. My brother met his soon to be wife online.
    Looking forward to part 2

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  13. Oh, man... I can't wait to hear the rest of this story :) My husband and I met on match.com, so I'm familiar with the foibles of the online dating world! I hope you aren't too scarred by the experience to try again...

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  14. I've been single longer than I'd like to quantify in time units. Although I have tried online dating in the past, the results have not produced anything akin to success. Great luck to you on your search.

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  15. I am so on tenterhooks for part 2!!! I say good for you!!

    Take care
    x

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  16. oooh, an exciting continuation, can't wait to hear what happened in the next episode :)

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  17. online dating...i don't even want to think about remembering my little adventure with this bwahaha

    but i understand what you mean about things being skewed and frustrating.

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  18. Can't wait for Part 2. I am SO glad I'm married!

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  19. online dating good try
    nothing is going to happen bad but be careful.
    waiting for part 2

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  20. i agree with there being alot pf creeps i like how u ended the post im glad i read part one first and didnt ruin the suspense!
    also gd grammar might be pushing the boat since i do german and struggle with english grammar xd

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