And what exactly is wrong with me? Well, where do we start. Bloating and discomfort whenever my lower gut feels like it, I have not been able to eat yogurt or drink milk since High School without fear of the first problem. But the really annoying thing is my reduced appetite.
To give you an idea of how little I eat in a meal compared to when I was younger, 8-9 year-old Damian could eat 2 Big Macs, a large fries and a large drink.
21 year-old Damian can barely eat 1 Big Mac, a medium drink and half a box of medium fries.
Note for all these tests they ask that you don't eat anything prior to going in. The first test I went for was an ultrasound. Yes, the same test that pregnant women go for. That was fun, stripped to my underwear while a technician squirted gel on my stomach and pressed the scanner thing against me.
I couldn't see what was going on on the screen though. And before I knew it I was shooed away to my next test.
Here's a generic ultrasound picture in the meantime because I don't know what mine looked like.
Next test was a fluoroscopy. How this works is that they make you drink barium (which has the consistency of a melted milkshake and tastes like one gone bad) and then they run you through an x-ray to see where the barium goes.
Oh, and they make you eat something like pop rocks to create gas which inflates your stomach. So during the entire procedure you feel the need to burp but you can't. Otherwise your stomach deflates and they can't see anything.
Also the barium causes constipation so have fun with that.
So, all done and good, they said send my doctor the results and we'll go from there. But unless it's something serious I doubt my doctor will want to book an appointment with me.
Oh wait, less than 24 hours after I'm done the tests my doctor gives me a call.
This is lovely.
The last time he wanted an appointment with me it was because my lung collapsed.
Not this garbage again...
So we'll see where this goes, probably no where good. But hey, it makes for good blogging material I guess.